I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
