Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
