remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
