fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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