on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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