If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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