would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
