Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
