Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
