Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize