i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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