Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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