I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
