too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
