I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
