Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
