Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
