There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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