dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
