My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
