Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
