Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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