Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
