There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
