yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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