It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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