Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
