and you said cock pushups were impossible
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
