Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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