Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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