somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
