if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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