Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
