In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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