Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
