I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
