I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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