how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I have post one night stand depression
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