The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
