Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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