we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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