brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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