Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
