HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
