I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
