Kiss
Puke
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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