Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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