I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
