thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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