I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
