Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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