He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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