my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
