I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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